Ancestors of the French : A Tournament in Normandy, 2023
Norman vs Vikings
Game 1 Norman vs Communal Italian
Game 2 Norman vs Komnenan Byzantine
Game 5 Norman vs Sicilian Norman
Saturday night in Le Havre is an event.
We weren't quite sure what type of event was going on though as in the supposed "brew pub" we managed to find the evening swiftly transitioned from children's party to normal hipster bar to full on middle aged disco with the punters dancing on tables and around their handbags to some 80's bangers pumped out at high volume on a shoulder-mounted beat box that some of the regular punters seemed to have brought with them for the evening.
In between the sudden transitions of tone we managed to scarfe down a rather forbidding looking saucisson, and be bought a round by a chap who had previously been employed as former Fulham second string striker Abou Bakar Kamara's personal trainer in his entertaining yet somewhat ineffective period as a Fulham player in the time of Slavisa Jokanovic (honestly...!).
Kamara had styled himself as "AK47" - a fitting nickname as it turned out given his propensity for wildly inaccurate shooting and an on-the-ball dribbling style which caused chaos and panic in equal measure to both the opposition and the rest of his own team.
AK47's Best Bits
As the tune says, Oh What a Night!
The next morning dawned damp and early (the clocks had changed, denying us an hour of post-IPA sleep) and we headed off to the 9am start in the suburbs, which of course ended up being a 930 gaming start prefaced by a bag-full of croissants and a series of small buckets of coffee.
The first game would see Guillame le Conquerant (2/3 so far ain't bad) taking on the Vikings
Vikings are a very solid list, with the Elite Huscarls and their two handed axes and armoured hauberks providing a literal cutting edge to a large and absorbent force of perfectly competent good-going and rough terrain foot.
Their nemesis however is a well-executed Knightly charge, which can cut through their lines and scare any Medium Foot into staying in terrain all game.
The only counter to this threat is to equip all of the Hird infantry with extra-deep formations represented by Rear Support, mitigating the Knights ability to skittle them out at first contact. This is still a bit of a gamble though, and is more about stopping the Vikings losing quickly or drawing the Knights into a lengthy slugfest rather than providing a chance for the Norsemen to get onto the front foot.
The lists for the Norman and Vikings from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Normandy can be seen here in the L'Art de la Guerre Wiki.
The table ended up very Scandinavian, as I defended in Woodlands for the second time, again deploying my by-now near legendary pronunciation of "Bois" to maximum effect.
This option saw the Vikings puzzling over how to anchor their flank on their own waterway while attacking through the forests with an army which turned out to be largely made up of supported Heavy Infantry swordsmen, with a big block of Elite Medium Foot full-fat Huscarls sandwiched between them and a Breton ally out on the open flank.
The Vikings decided to stick with tradition, and did indeed anchor themselves on the side of the waterway, stretching their army out with Heavy Infantry, the Elite Medium Huscarls, and then another block of solid supported Viking Heavy Infantry warriors on their open flank
The Norman army had elected to refuse the waterside flank by dropping the tiny skirmishing Breton allied command there, and then mass all of the Milites down the middle taking advantage of the hill.
The open flank then saw the Norman spearmen extend outwards into open space beyond the end of the Viking line, with their Archers acting as a deterrent to any enemy light horse - in this case a Breton contingent also allied to the Vikings who were even smaller than my own Cidre-drinking allies
Next to the waterway as the Vikings advanced they flushed a couple of units of Breton infantry out of their woodland hiding place. The Viking skirmishers were less well equipped for combat, being slingers and bowmen, so the Bretons found themselves in the unusual position of being a potential combat-capable blocking force to hold up the Vikings as they struggled to insert themselves between the trees of the dense forest the Bretons were hiding in.
Coquilles St Jacques! Seeing so many Bretons and Normans on the opposite team had clearly freaked out the Vikings allied contingent, as they became unreliable with their first dice roll of the game
Given that the Normans opposing them had already marked them down as a target to be swiftly disposed of through archery alone, this didn't really make all that much difference to the plan of Guillame and his boys - a target they would remain
Boeuf a la Mode! With the luxury of knowing the Bretons would not move for a while, the Norman wing reshuffled itself into an ideal Breton-squeezing formation ready to sweep forward in the next turn
The enemy Bretons watched in horror and anticipation at the wall of spears and bowmen teeing themselves up for a decisive approach
Mange Toute! The serious heavy metal was all happening in the centre, where an endless wall of Milites seemed ready to sweep forward the moment the Vikings dared to approach into range
Pont L'Eveque! The Vikings meanwhile were puzzling as what to do about the matchup, as their best troops, the loose formation Huscarls, had clearly hoped to be meeting a spear-based centre to the Norman army - Mounted Knights were their worst nightmare
The Huscarls needed to get behind their warriors, and quickly before the Normans could simply run them down in the open terrain at the foot of the hill they currently occupied
Tripes a la mode! The Viking commander was desperate for his Bretons to survive - they were protecting the whole of his left wing and if they were swept away that would see Norman spearmen rolling up the Viking line.
As such, he sent harshly worded orders, wrapped in a checked tablecloth and containing a gift of Norwegian cheese to the Breton commander, who immediately decided that with gifts of such calibre he did need to become loyal and rejoin the game on the Viking side
Poulet Roti! The Huscarls had ducked behind the Warriors block to their right, and as the rest of the Viking army advanced it squeezed together, seeking to eliminate any hint of a gap in its line the Normans might exploit
But, with the Breton infantry still holding the wood against the Vikings sketchy archery the ability of the waterside block of Warriors to continue to advance was rather limited. The Normans held their council, and held fast at the top of the hill
The Viking Bretons were now working hard to try and block off the potential embarrassment of their infantry being outflanked by Norman spearmen - but the archers who are so numerous on the Bayeux tapestry were drawing a bead on the vulnerable light cavalrymen even as they sought to jostle themselves into position.
As the armies of William the Conqueror and the Viking raiders closed together on the battlefield, the Norman Milites calculated carefully how fast they could charge forward and compared it to how quickly the Vikings might manage to redress their lines.
Rollo & The Normans
Vol au Vent! Suddenly everything sprang into motion, as the Norman Miltes lurched forward and the Norman spearmen broke into a hurried run, their formation collapsing into chaos as they tried to be the first to get past the end of the now-committed Norman line
The Vikings were known for their ferocity and fearlessness, wielding their weapons with reckless abandon across all of Northern Europe for decades. They were a force to be reckoned with, and their thirst for battle was matched only by their love for the rich and delicious food and drink of Normandy and other regions where their terror and gastronomy had been a cause of shock and awe to the local population.
The Normans however were also Gourmands of the highest order, and so this imminent clash would end up a martial battle that was both a feast for the military historian and for the Medieval restaurant critic alike
Boom! The Milites were in all along the line, and they had managed to pile in before the Vikings had closed up the gap between their two commands of heavy warriors as well.
Fearsome cries rent the air as the two eras of Europe-scarring warriors wrestled for supremacy, always mindful of the attractions of their regional cuisines and the role they would play in the coming fight
Amidst the chaos of the battle, the Normans could be seen savouring the flavours of their region's famous apple cider and calvados, while the Vikings were known to drink deeply of the local mead and ale. Even in the heat of combat, they found moments to indulge in these culinary delights.
The sounds of clanging swords and battle cries echoed through the air, but the most important sound was that of the respective generals flicking through the rulebook to check whether having Breton Light Horse in the flank would cancel the Rear Support bonus of the Viking warriors at exactly the moment they needed it the most!
L'Art de la Guerre hint - yes, it does.
The Normans and Vikings were both formidable warriors, and the battle raged on with no clear victor in sight. The air was thick with the sounds of clashing swords as Norman Knight struggled against Viking warrior down by the waterside
Amidst the chaos of the battle, the Normans could still be seen savoring the flavors of their region's famous apple cider and calvados, while the Vikings were known to drink deeply of the local mead and ale.
Even in the heat of combat, the troops of both armies found moments to indulge in these culinary delights.
The Viking line suddenly started to collapse faster than a over-cooked French pastry carried into a damp seaside conservatory as the Normans burst through all along the line. The gap in the Norman line, and the harassing flank charges of their Breton scouts had proved decisive and the tide was now turning in Guillames favour at some speed.
Bonnet de Douche! As the Viking front line evaporated, Norman Knights stirred their steeds into action yet again, plunging forward into the second line of rather shell-shocked Huscarls who had no doubt been hoping their minions would have dealt with these mounted demons without need to recourse to their own involvement
The Normans were as relentless in their aggression as they were in their love of fruit-based pastry desserts, and their attacks were pouring fuel on the Viking conflagration more surely than their pastry chefs poured Calvados on frankly everything they could find in the kitchen
The Vikings Bretons had been unable to stand up against the sheer weight of the Norman infantry, and finally they had been swept away, leaving the end of the Viking line exposed to Norman spearmen and their ferocious attacks
Mr Grimsdale! The Vikings were doing their best to strike back, but with their line holed in more places than a cheese from another region of France entirely, the odds were tilting against them at some speed
Breton Scouts working for the Normans were now roaming at will behind the Viking line, such as it was, and the end times were coming for the Valhalla-bound Norsemen
The Normans made one last surge, and the Viking army collapsed in total and utter disarray.
The Result is a Victory for the Normans!
Time for a quick dash across the road to the most appropriately-named local hostelry in town to celebrate!
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Norman Commander
Well well well well Mr Grimsdale, another victory and I have added yet another chapter to the book of Norman Wisdom.
This time it was how to run down a Viking spearwall, once they had been forced to squeeze together and expose their flanks by the ferocious threat of my Milites against the lightened Huscarls in the centre of their army.
The Breton scouts, harassing the enemy flanks also made a huge difference with their irritating small attacks at exactly the right time and place
I also demonstrated how heavy foot spearmen can be exceedingly dangerous in the right place, and in this battle that place was clearly outflanking the Viking line and then rolling it up like a thick woolly Scandinavian carpet.
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
Oh, how William, the conqueror, doth offend! Thou art a gluttonous fool, who dost feast upon the spoils of war whilst ignoring the sacrifices of thy valiant countrymen.
Dost thou not see the blood and sweat that hath been shed to secure thy victory? Thou art a selfish and ungrateful ingrate, who dost not appreciate the toils of thy soldiers and the people who hath suffered under the Viking scourge.
Thy greed doth insult the very spirit of thy nation, and thy thoughtlessness shall sow the seeds of discontent and rebellion. Thou art a disgrace to thy people, who deserve a leader who shall honor their sacrifices and give them hope for a better future.
Remember, oh William, that a true king must lead by example, and show his subjects that he is worthy of their loyalty and devotion. Thy arrogance shall be thy undoing, and thy legacy shall be forever tainted by thy neglect of the people's needs. Let us hope you learn that lesson in time for the next and final game
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition
That's the end - so why not go back to the Match Reports Index and read some more reports?
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Game 1 Norman vs Communal Italian
Game 2 Norman vs Komnenan Byzantine
Game 5 Norman vs Sicilian Norman
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